Friday, October 4, 2013

Personal Narrative Writing at Brevity Magazine

What are the features of engaging, insightful personal narrative writing?

1. Go to brevitymag.com
2. Choose a personal narrative to read.
3. In the comment box below summarize the narrative you chose and explain how the author uses narrative strategies to explore a theme. (Narrative strategies include narrative point of view, narrative voice, plot (an arranged sequence of events), characterization, setting, vivid and suggestive imagery, significant objects (and/or symbols), dialogue...) Due by class time Monday, October 7.

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4. Then, read what your peers have written in the comment box. Based on what you read choose another personal narrative to read at brevitymag.com.
5. Now, respond to what a peer has written about the story with a comment of your own. The comment should be substantial, which means it should demonstrate an understanding of the story and an understanding of your peer's comment, while also offering something significant and new. Due by class time Tuesday, October 8.

(Remember that our goal here is to understand what makes personal narratives work (or not work), so we can write effective analyses and write our personal narratives.)

55 comments:

  1. In Wide Open Spaces by Kathryn Miller a difficult story is told. The story starts years after the actual event, when the author was shot by a woman who attacked a school and held a young man hostage, and then committed suicide. Miller is now back at the police station with her five scars from the woman looking at pictures of her attacker after the attacker's suicide. The policewoman keeps talking but Miller wants her to be silent during her time of looking at the photos even though she is afraid she will cry.
    Miller uses very vivid imagery in her story but only of the events happening now, not of the shooting as if to put it in the past. She describes the police conference room," overly air-conditioned and done in shades of blue" and the photo of the woman herself," She’s wearing yellow sweatpants cut off just past her knees and an off-white short-sleeved t-shirt and black slip on shoes with rubber soles." because that is still in the now but much less detail is provided about past events. Miller also uses her scars as symbols, she tells you about each and every one and that gives you context for the attack. The other narrative strategy she uses is plot, the story is arranged in a, very significant way, looking back on the shooting which, gives her and you a different more detached perspective.

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    1. Wide open spaces by Kathryn Miller is a moving story about a woman confronting her past, or at least seeing it. The author goes to the police station to see the pictures of the person who shot her when she was seven. She says "Ann Marie seems afraid that seeing the photos will make me cry and keeps talking, hoping to keep it from happening. I’m afraid of crying too." she is afraid that she will cry if she sees the photos, but then she talks, in great detail, what are in the photos. it is like she was studying them. she notices the slight oddities and describes each part. This is weird because you think that she would be hesitant to look at the pictures, but you can tell that she did, and it wasn't just a glance. this attention to detail can be seen in how she writes and how she remembers the picture.

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    2. I found Emma’s summary and understanding of “Wide Open Spaces” by Kathryn Miller to be very accurate, especially in observing how the scene was described. The vivid detail employed in Miller’s story was extremely focused on her current situation, rather than on the memories she had of the shooting. This narrative strategy certainly succeeded in giving the reader a detached perspective, as Emma said.
      However, as detached as it may seem, I feel that this actually helped the author become more personal. Miller’s description of the crime scene photographs brought us into her traumatic experience, even if it was her first time seeing the photos as well. I felt as if she was walking the reader through the scene after it happened, rather than just describing the picture; It was as if the author was creating her own memories along with the reader. Although Emma points out the author’s efforts to detach herself from the memories and focus solely on the scene, I feel that in doing so the author became much more personal and less detached.

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  2. "The Cruelty We Delivered: An Apology" is a story about how when a group of young boys would make fun of and be mean towards this one boy that did not have any friends. The grandmother tried to make the group be nice to her grandson and they just tried to be his friends because of the promise of free food from the boys grandmother. After the boy rampaged around the temple the boys found it very amusing. The lonely boy with no parents did however show great care to animals like the cats that he had befriended. Years later the boy had committed suicide and the group of mean boys had grown up with their own families and moved to around the world, they could not help but feel somewhat guilty about what the lonely boy had done.
    The author Ira Sukrungruang uses the way in which the story unfolds to present a theme. Since it starts in the past and arises to the present it allows the reader to have the information necessary to understand why the person is apologizing for their past actions. By characterizing the boys when they are younger as mean and cruel it shows why the boy may have grown up to commit suicide.

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  3. “The Unsaved” is a short memoir in which author Lynnette D’Amico reflects on past challenges she has faced. In a casual tone, D’Amico discusses the interminable year she spent with her repair technician boyfriend, the failure that relationship ultimately saw, and her observations of the extreme party-goer CJ Wright, whom she saw at various parties that year. The writing flows well due to a conversational tone - the piece is almost like a diary entry, in which the readers don’t find any immediate, forced big “point”. Rather, the audience is given a poignant series of events, followed by a subtly insightful conclusion. D’Amico has almost a gloomy perspective, as she’s reflecting on events that were difficult or unhappy for her. The piece starts with “The brief and interminable year that I was involved with the Northwestern Bell repair tech with the clubbed thumbs seemed to include three or more New Year’s Eve parties.” She is already talking about her endless year and what a drag all the parties were. From the start, D’Amico has somewhat of a dreary view, and readers see her character as doomed in her own negativity. She goes on to discuss the parties she attended with her then-boyfriend, and focuses on her observations of party-girl CJ Wright in a flowing nature, rather than a planned plot. Most of the memoir is D’Amico describing CJ Wright’s extravagant, “queer” behavior and (unfavorable) memorability at parties. D’Amico slowly describes her extreme personality by making allusions and using great imagery in describing these parties to reel the readers in. She subtly intertwines her relationship troubles, describing how she’ll have to figure out how to “fix her own wires”, now technician-less, and eventually, shares that CJ Wright had gone away and married. D’Amico uses this as a transition into what she has realized. She contemplates whether she can make big changes and move forward like CJ Wright has done. Then, though, she recognizes that actively focusing on CJ Wright has only been a crutch for her and others, and that CJ’s choices “have nothing to do with redemption—hers or ours”. This leaves readers with some insight - maybe we try to save ourselves by making big change. Maybe we should focus on moving forward rather than making it seem like that’s what we’re doing. Or maybe, we’ll never be saved.

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    1. ((In response to Morey))

      From the beginning it is clear as Morey said that D'Amico has put a rather dreary and negative point of view to the readers. The negative spin may have been used to create the droning, longevity Morey also mentioned in her response. What I found rather different was as myself as a reader ventured deeper into D'Amico's narrative the pace of the story went faster and faster as she styled the paragraphs. One full year had gone by in the story rather hastily in comparison to the three parties that dragged at the beginning of the narrative. This use or arch building could be used as an example D'Amico was demonstrating by hiding a message about how fast time and life in general may fly by. The narrative starts with the wild party girl CJ Wright doing some rather vulgar things only for her to starkly change and marry into a Christian/religious society. This contrast almost smacks the reader in the face by saying how not only how fast life can go by, but also how unpredictable it can be. CJ Wright could have been used as a symbolism for life as a whole where as the speaker was merely a human observer in her own sort of symbolism. D'Amico makes this apparent where she describes CJ in great detail, to the point where she is the main idea in a way, that she lacks the description of the speaker other than that she is the negative tone in the story. The most emphasizing point on how life changes so fast and unpredictably would be the middle paragraph in which the speaker's boyfriend breaks up with her. Even though this is foreshadowed to the readers at the beginning of the tale with "Perhaps it was just that our doomed-from-the-beginning relationship was always on a sparkle ball countdown to the inevitable end" the reader was not genuinely expecting to break up with him, as no one really is I guess. The speaker ended up grieving over the loss of a lover that she most likely knew was to happen but ignored it in some was as she "grieved" over him. What makes the middle paragraph all the more special is yet again D'Amico's paragraph placing and styling as immediately after the negative tone she drags CJ in to add yet another blow of contrast in what could be deemed an unpredictable time. What D'Amico could be saying through her paragraph styling and phrases could be that there are most likely uncertainties in life and no matter how much we may think we know life moves too fast in the end to tell.

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  4. "Gambing" is a short non fiction piece written by Garnett Kilberg Cohen. The theme of her short passage is taking risks. At the beginning of the passage she talks about a trip to a casino where she highlights risk takings negativity through the setting around her. All of the people inside the casino seem miserable, there are hyperdermic needles everywhere and the mood of the casino is filled with despair. The author then completely transitions to a trip she took with a friend years later. They took a risk and got in a white van stating it was a taxi and ended up getting robbed. The author weaved the two stories seamlessly. She used the narrative strategy of plot very well by writing about the casino first and then talking about her personal experience. She then highlights her theme in the last sentence "I link arms with Sara, and we take the chance. Closing our eyes, we step off the curb." She uses the curb as a symbol of stepping out into the world and taking risks.

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    1. Ryan, I was inspired by your comment to read “Gambling” by Garnett Kilberg Cohen.

      I agree that Cohen makes gambling and taking chances a part of her theme, but I also think that she shows the down side of taking risks by using imagery and the curb as a symbol. At the beginning of the narrative, Cohen describes the scenery around a friend’s cabin that leaves a peaceful, natural, and serene impression on the reader. The reader is presented with a positive outlook on the day the friends planned to spend at the casino gambling and eating lunch. The imagery of the cabin is quickly contrasted by the image created from the description of the casino. The neon-illuminated, smoke-filled casino creates a harsh environment that is not nearly as appealing as the suggested imagery of the forrest with fresh air. I agree with Ryan that the people in the casino do not seem to be energetic or happy, which starts to make gambling seem negative. When recalling the time when she had gotten robbed by a fake taxi driver, Cohen makes it obvious that gambling can come with a cost. Cohen had the opportunity to leave the van when a man got into the front passenger seat, but she chose to take the risk of trusting the man who she had realized was not a real taxi driver. At the end of the narrative, Cohen remembers the “wide walls of motorcycles and scooters at a large intersection” that were “like swarms of buzzing giant flies ready to collide.” She says she grabs her friends arm, takes a chance and steps off the curb. Stepping of the curb represents taking a chance, as Ryan has mentioned. This suggests that to take a chance would be as irresponsible and stupid as it would be to step out into the street while there is a line on motorcycles coming. The symbol of the curb combined with the contrasting feeling created between the cabin scene and the casino highlights the theme that taking chances recklessly can come with consequences.

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    2. In the article, there are two stories and writing styles. The author described what he had seen in the casino and explained that they had experienced the situation. On the first story, he described people who had gambled in the casino, medical instruments they were using. On the other story, he set the scene they had happened in order of time. Two stories have in common with the subject 'Gambling'. Each part of story give us different meaning. Seeing the first story, gambling is more likely to have serious problems. For some gambling is a serious and deadly addiction. So no nations encourage population to enjoy gambling. In Korea, Gambling is generally banned, but somewhere in part. As you know, these day some of entertainers are arrested for gambling, which especially has become an ever growing issue. We should find out something to replace gambling and to attract people to wholesome entertainment. It could be football, baseball, and traditional play. Anyway, government should not allow people to gambling. Second story is also the same with the negative meaning. She survived with gambling of her life. But it was a dangerous situation and could cause much worse happening. She was just lucky. On the other hands, they took the chance to get out of the situation. The gambling made a good effect to them unlike the first story. The author has actually told about her experience of gambling. I think that the author used the sentence "I link arms with Sara, and we take the chance. Closing our eyes, we step off the curb." as a symbol. In other words, gambling can cause the negative consequence. It could not be positive affection on our society. Taking the whole article into consideration, gambling could not be positive effect on our society under any circumstance.

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  5. I read "Wide Open Spaces" by Kathryn Miller. The nonfiction story talks about that when she was seven years old, she got shot multiple times by this random women. She starts off talking to a police officer about what had happened 24 years ago. The psychotic women not only shot her, but also shot other 5 kids, burned down a house with people in it, and also made someone hostage, all before killing herself with a gun to her mouth. Kathryn sees the women's suicide pictures for the first time and notices it how her eyes have no rage in them anymore, instead they are wide open spaces.
    The author uses a personal writing styling that gets compassion from the readers. She uses many dependent clauses, which can indicate something missing causing some mystery to her story. She also uses vivid imagery to capture the reader's attention by adding very detailed accounts like " I look at the square, yellowed photographs of the woman, after she committed suicide, shot herself in her mouth. They are in a binder, in plastic sleeves, four to a page, numbered. She’s in a bedroom of the house where she held the young man hostage. She’s lying on her stomach on lime green, shag carpeting." which you can picture it in your head making her story seem more real. Miller has a way of capturing the reader to feel for her story by not only being descriptive but also by using a colloquial discourse.

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  6. The Cruelty We Delivered: An Apology by Ira Sukrungruang

    Sukrungruang begins the personal narrative by explaining how a young boy would cause trouble to try to make friends with the other boys. The audience learns that the boy who causes trouble only does so because he wants to fit in and wants to play with everyone else. Sukrungruang admits that he and his friends had made fun of the boy behind his back in their inner circle. The boys grandmother offered Sukrungruang and his friends free food if they played with the boy because he was lonely, but it was obvious he played different from the other boys. The lonely boy would throw rocks through windows and stomp on vegetable garden and run away from monks as he laughed and had a great time. When the boy would start trouble, Sukrungruang and his friends would roll their eyes, because the boys actions were unusual and unexpected. Sukrungruang mentions how the boy once had a gray kitten and would take care of it and protect it from others when they would try to touch it. Years later the lonely boy had hung himself when everyone else had carried on with their lives. They were not surprised by the news, but had felt ashamed for treating him the way they did. Sukrungruang ends the narrative by recalling when the boy had stole holy water and poured it on his head, and how happy the boy was, and how Sukrungruang now wishes for forgiveness in the form of rain.
    The narrative is told from the first-person point of view of Sukrungruang, who was a boy who had participated in making fun of the lonely boy, and had only played with him when he was offered free food. By telling the story from his point of view, Sukrungruang makes the narrative personal and can make an apology to the boy who had killed himself. Sukrungruang’s characterization of the boy is lonely protective, and loving. The reader is not presented with a reason for why the boy was neglected the way he was, and the trouble he would get into did not justify how the others treated him, which makes the boy seem like an innocent victim. This characterization and Sukrungruang’s personal narration explores the theme that being kind to others who may be different is important. Sukrungruang arranges the events of the story so the reader understands the boy caused trouble in ways that would cause him to be chased and that he did not fit in with the inner circle that is mentioned. It is shocking for the reader to learn the boy committed suicide after Sukrungruang brought up that the boy had a protective side when he held the gray kitten and showed love for it, which continues to make the boy seem like a victim of the other boys, who was not able to move on with his life even when everyone else had. Sukrungruang asked for forgiveness in the form of rain after remembering when the boy had poured holy water on his head, because water is a symbol of cleansing and Sukrungruang suggested he needed to be clean so much that he wanted for it to rain. Sukrungruang’s apology seems genuine after he presents the theme of the importance of being kind to others and admitting he was in the wrong.

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  7. In “Balancing Act”, Lisa Knopp describes the balance of the actions of people who do not physically appear to be able to support themselves. Knopp centers her story on her neighbor and his rock collection. She describes this man to be a Unabomber look alike who stares at her as if she will be his next meal. However, this man is able to take these rocks and balance them on three points, so that they can withstand anything that may come their way, like wind, rain or snow. Knopp also connects the rocks and their appearances to that of people, like those with wide and chunky legs or people who wear long coats and dresses. By connecting these rocks to people she is connecting their actions as well. These rocks all rely on every other rock below them for support as more weight comes, and to stand strong against the environment. Relating the rocks back to people, it takes everyone to keep a community balanced and everyone must work together to make it possible. Meanwhile, little may we know, the creepy Unabomber look alike down the road might be the one in charge of keeping us all strong.

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    1. (In response to Michael's post)
      Michael, I agree with you that Knopp centers her story around her neighbor's rock collection. I think the fact that you stated that, "Lisa Knopp describes the balance of the actions of people who not physically appear to be able to support themselves", was a very interesting point to pick up on. Before even reading this piece, I though it was interesting because of what you had to say about it. I also agree that Knopp connects people to the appearances, as well as the actions of the rocks. Throughout "Balancing Act" Lisa Knopp uses devices like personification. Knopp is able to describe the essence of the rock, by giving it human-like qualities, such as, "ability to get along with others". This descriptive method helps reveal the theme that people also need to find the balance in life.

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  8. In the nonfiction story “Consider the Houses” Karen Salyer McElmurray uses imagery and a lost and lonely narrative voice to tell the story of a woman who desired a home, but was never able to reach it. Houses aren’t just a place to sleep and eat, but a dwelling where your entire life takes place. However, Karen McElmurry is exploring the life a woman who never has a place to call her own, but always longing for one. The woman had been to so many places but could never reach the house she always wanted, instead she pictured her favorites from her past. McElmurray uses imagery throughout her narrative to show the different areas in which this woman experienced. “Sun porch, red-tiled kitchen, back bedroom with a fireplace where coal held the heat a long, long while.” In the description it becomes natural to picture her grandmothers house and it feels as if the reader is standing there in the moment. The language McElmurray used in her narrative sets a path for the voice. It has a very lost and lonely feel to the entire story. The woman was never able to reach her dream and you can feel the sadness and disappointment throughout the story.

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    1. I agree with Zoe, Karen Salyer McElmurray uses her lost and lonely narrative to make the life of the women in the story seem very sad and lonely. The description of the different houses and how warm and comforting they feel, like " At night she lay there, listening to the fiddle tunes and voices from the front room" and "back bedroom with a fireplace where coal held the heat a long, long while", really show the women's longing for a place to stay in and call her own. The imagery of these houses affect the emotions, because you begin to realize that each place the lady goes to is amazing, but it will not be her's forever. The house is the center, or the womb as McElmurray describes it and everyone deserves a comfortable and safe place to call their own.

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    2. I agree that "Consider the Houses" by Karen McElmurray has these particular narrative voices Zoe has mentioned, however these voices also tell you about how she is a drifter and sentimental. The houses represent the memories which she grew up with although none of these places are permanent the memories are. "She dreams of cellars and attics, of the expanse of wooden floors where there were dancers and the smooth soles of shoes," this connects to both imagery because it enables you to really envision what may have happened in that particular place this quote also reveals to the reader that although she may never get a permanent home she feels the urge to connect to other people from another time and their memories. That is why she is so keen to the attics and cellars where memories are placed for safe keeping, the previous quote reinforces the strength of this narrative because of the arrangement of details within. Mentioning finding the box of memories with her grandmother just makes this quote even stronger because of the personal impact on her. Overall Zoe has formed a good point about the voice, imagery, and point that I agree with because of the information and details the author puts into "Consider the Houses"

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  9. The author describes how the man Jim moved his bees to another womens house where he took care of her bees while she was away. The situation turned out to be beneficial for each of them and he transformed the wood shed into a halfway functional living space. While Jim was living in the shed the author was in a relationship with him and recounts several inconveniences and memories of the one room stead. When the season approached winter she knew that she needed to leave Jim, and she describes this decision by using bee references. She did not believe that Jim would ever truly open his heart up to her, the queen bee to her. “I might hum around all I liked, industrious as any worker bee, dancing clover nectar off my feet, but I would never be taken to the queen.” The author utilizes narrative techniques such as describing herself as a bee several times throughout the short story. “It was the same guidance system that inspires wax-producing workers to carve their cell blocks into hexagons, but it carried me away from my compulsion to gather and store flower pollen.” The author usesfigurative language to compare he emotions to the actions of a colony of bees. She describes herself as a drone worker, and Jims true emotions towards her as the queen bee.

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  10. P.M Kellerman in the article "The C-Word" describes an overall humane personalities of avoiding certain words in order to maintain a secure state of mind. The C word being talked about in the article is Cancer. Cancer is a known disease that has wrecked many families across the world for years and it is a perfect example of how the world likes to say ignorant. The article stats off with the speaker talking to his mother about his older sister Lynne. The passage continues further with the narrator demanding what is going on, and through key descriptive words describing the mother's face in saying the C word it can be said it is a a hard word to mention. The mother "Mom's face scrunches up; her eyes begin to moisten" does not describe the word Cancer as a happy, but a rather solemn moment as it clings to the possibility of death. In the passage most of the other characters act the same way around the word and the possibility that a member of the family may die. Humans try to avoid the idea in general, which is what the passage is trying to get at, and while the narrator brings out the suspicions and gets family members to mention the word it is clearly an obvious secret. The speaker said he knew for weeks that his older sister probably had cancer, yet he is still mentioning the word aloud. Everyone seemed to know about it but kept it a secret as no one likes to acknowledge the idea of death. The speaker clearly knew this also as the dire circumstance went on and the point that is being made was that the family, humans, need to accept the fact more verbally instead of hiding the emotions. This is most likely why near the beginning and end of the passage the phrase "SAY IT: say fucking cancer. Cancer Cancer Cancer Cancer Cancer" to emphasize the speakers point. The organization can also be analyzed too as it also brings out more on the point. Firstly the passage starts with the speaker asking his mother to tell him that his sister has cancer to set the solemn mood straight away. After that the author goes on to put the rest of the family and their avoidance on the subject of cancer and how even Lynne didn't know until weeks after the surgery. This puts an emphasizing factor on the idea that death is ignored within human society even when at its door. Lastly the final phrase of the passage puts a sentence mentioning how everyone found out before looping the article back to the beginning as the final point to demonstrate the timing factors of the article, the first paragraph was in fact the ending of the idea flow in the passage. It was put however at the beginning to set the solemn mood and to realize how secluded and ignoring of death we are as it sets further into the article.

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  11. The narrative I read told about a strange encounter with a man on the side of the road. The narrator was walking home from work when a man dressed in strange dirty clothing asked for a piece of twine. The man looked and smelled homeless, but instead of immediately turning him away as many people would do, the narrator searched for a piece of twine. When she knew she didn't have one, she offered him an orange instead. She immediately regretted it as he became very silent and said "Do I,” he asks, pausing, “look like some kind of bum, do you think? Do I look like some kind of riffraff troublemaker that needs an orange from you?” She replied by saying no, and that she thought he might have just been having a rough day. Then the man asked her if he looked like a bum, but she replied by saying no because his eyes are very clear and don't reflect any struggle. He receives the orange from the narrator and then they walk their separate ways. As he walks into a dark parking garage he says, "We’re all a step away from this," gesturing to himself. The narrator ponders what "this" is.
    The author's vivid descriptions of the setting and character establish the themes of oddity and sympathy. By describing the man’s dirty appearance and contrasting that with his positive outlook, the reader can sympathize with his situation. The shortened sentences add a theme of hastiness to the story. By speaking in short quick narratives, the author is trying to convey to the reader how fast this whole conversation escalated.

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    1. Though I do think that the mans outlook doesn't totally match his appearance like Winslow said, I also think that he is not completely likeable. He is definitely not what you would expect form the situation but his outlook still is not positive, he thinks it is a bad thing to look like someone who needs an orange. To him that is an insult, but at the same time, his mood shifts in an instant making the story even more unpredictable. It is a chronologic narrative which, also makes the man seem more out of place.

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    2. I agree that the author intentionally uses more descriptive language to create a contrast between the mans appearance and his demeanor. The story as told through Winslow's summary intrigues me because of it's peculiarity. Many questions are left unanswered, why the man wanted string, why he obliged to taking the orange, and like the author wonders, what the man means by "this"? These points of interest would give any short story good narrative qualities, and the authors conscious decision to increase the imagery enhances the storyline.

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  12. In "Cut" by: Cheryl Diane Kidder, the narrator is home with her new-born child who cries and cries. The narrator then abruptly leaves her new-born all alone crying to search for the father who is gone off in search for a drink at a local bar on the bus. She leaves so quickly that she forgets to put on shoes and walks to her car bear foot in a "thrift-store wool coat". It's so cold out that the narrator's car won't start. Once she finds the father, he spits in her face and leaves for a bar on another bus.
    Throughout the entire story, the narrator constantly brings up the subject of the baby and how the "baby is fine", as if to reassure herself that what she is doing is alright, and that leaving a baby alone is fine. Once she finds the father of the baby, he simply spits in her face, showing he had no interest in being with her and that he had no respect for her. The author uses hints to suggest what happens when alcohol affects the lives of some. An example is "I've wrapped myself in my big thrift-store wool coat, right over my nightgown." It shows how she has to shop at discount stores for clothing, and how she does not care about her appearance. The narrator needs relief and support from the father, saying how "Maybe if I had a little help, maybe if he’d stick around after the sun goes down, maybe if I was somebody else in another body this would be easier." she needs help from the alcoholic father that drinks away his life at a bar instead of being with his family.

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    1. In the nonfiction piece "Cut", author Cheryl Diane Kidder describes a miserable scene - she has failed endless attempts to quiet her baby, and, under false hope, goes searching for the baby’s father to help her with the child. The information readers gain regarding the mother and father’s relationship is limited initially, though throughout the story, the father’s unreliability is indirectly, subtly expressed through the author’s own jumbled emotions - “Maybe if I had a little help, maybe if he’d stick around after the sun goes down”, “I just can’t do it on my own, just not right now”. Ultimately, the narrator leaves her crying baby at home to go and find the father, who is going somewhere she knows “exactly where he’ll go, same bar every time”. He spits in her face when the narrator finds him, and continues his journey to the bar - which the readers immediately feel was inevitable, as the father shows no respect for the mother, and no remorse. This is how the piece ends, with the author hopelessly continuing the cycle, following the man.
      The narrative is written very casually - the author is essentially writing down everything she’s thinking, in present tense, expressing her ramblings by using commas for separations. I agree with all the points the previous poster had in his summary and analysis. One piece of symbolism I feel deserves more focus, though, is the author’s decision to include many, many reassurances on the narrator’s part that the baby is “OK, safe, fine”, etc. while she’s gone. This ties into all the specific aspects of the story - the mother and father’s relationship, the mother’s own possible troubled state, the father’s flakiness, etc. The mother is reassuring herself that the baby is “fine” being left alone for a while in the night. This reflects not only that she knows it isn’t proper to leave the baby, but may reflect her similar worries and improper actions with her own relationship with the father. While the father’s actions are not right, the mother’s repeated attempts to get him back are useless, and she’s trying to convince herself that taking part in this vicious cycle is “fine”.

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  13. I read the narrative "How to Fall in Love For Real" by Kent Shaw. This narrative talks about Shaw's first love and how throughout his young life he comes to find that love can mean more than one thing. Shaw talks about how he needs to love himself before he can truly know the meanings of love. Shaw uses good narrative language throughout the passage, he talks in first person like he is telling you a story from years ago and this has a profound effect on the reader. His plot also helps him explore the theme of his passage. At first he talks about love in such a simple, almost childish way and he soon progresses with that throughout his story. As we read further into his life he seems to grow up and understand more about love. Shaw also uses vivid imagery as seen here in this quote,"That day I loved everything around me. I didn’t need more. I went for lunch at a little delicatessen. It was raining outside. It was early spring. And I knew who I was. The taste of the cold cuts, the Italian dressing making the bread a little soggy, the pepperoncini. It was enough. I was Kent Shaw." In this quote his use of imagery gives the reader a good perspective on what Shaw has discovered about love; that it means more than having a crush on someone you don't know, it means loving yourself and everything you do.

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    1. In Kent Shaw's "How to Fall in Love for Real" I agree with Josette when she says the author talks about love in a childish way. Shaw tells the reader about the many waitresses he fell in love with which shows he doesn't really know what love is. The story has a sense of loneliness and longing for something that might never come. Kent Shaw said he always wanted 'more' like nothing was ever good enough, until he realized that he loved everything around him. He told about the Friday nights when he would go out dancing alone and as the reader you could feel the emptiness in his life and his childish thoughts of love.Throughout the story Shaw seemed to capture the true meaning of love when he found it for himself.

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    2. I agree with both Zoe and Josette in a way. His love was childish, but I don't think it was about falling in love itself. I think it was about finding who he was. He was lost, catching on to everything around him, latching on to meaningless things. Being so lost, he thought by loving things, he would have a purpose in life. With time, he found out that loving things or people would not fill the void in his life. I think that once he was able to find himself, he was able to really fall in love with things and people; to fall in love with life.

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    3. I agree with Josette, in that the author uses vivid imagery to give the reader a good perspective on what he discovered about love. However, I dont think the author really had a true linear plot sequence. It was mostly various parts of his life, and how love played a part in it. He starts with a sort of summary with things he loved like his best friend's wife and navy. Besides knowing that he described a part of his life when he was twenty-two, the story doesn't really follow a plot sequence. In this case, that strategy works in that it gives his old outlook of love in various parts of his life.

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  15. "If We had been Allowed to Take Pictures" is a personal narrative by Scott Russell Morris. It describes what he saw when he went to The Cathedral of Holy Ascension. A woman was there, in plain clothes, cleaning the candelabras in the cathedral. He notices that she is different than the others because she is not afraid of the fire, she is not like the other woman, worshiping the King at his feet, giving up their hopes in awe and desperation. No, she is in the darkness but yet she is the most reassured. She does not flinch from the fire, yet she looks right into the heat of these prayers.


    The narrator in this story uses a lot of imagery and characterization. He describes the woman multiple times, he even pays attention to they way her clothes look in the specific light and the way the sun comes through the church to land on her face. The reason he uses this specific characterization and descriptions is because it sets this woman apart without him having to state why. By his descriptions of how intensely she cleans the candles, and how fearlessly she reads into the prayers, we know she is more spiritually connected to "the King and his mother" than any of the other women. He sets this story up as a memory and leaves the reader thinking about the woman and wondering about her life. What does she pray for? Why is she not yearning for the light like the others? Why is she content in the dark? The author uses a very specific way of setting up his narrative to convey his point. He purely describes the setting for the first two paragraphs and only really talks about the intensity of the woman in the last one. Condensing this information into one paragraph at the end leaves the reader empowered and questioning, just like the author was in his memory.

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    1. I agree with Laura when she says that the author uses a lot of imagery throughout the passage. Throughout the text the author describes every detail of the woman in the cathedral as if he has taken a photograph in his mind and is describing it. The author sets up a form of irony in his writing also. He talks about wishing to take a photograph when the image of the woman is as clear as any photo in his mind. He uses extravagant imagery to get this point across.

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  16. “How to Fall in Love for Real” was written by Kent Shaw, a sailor in the U.S. army. Contrary to the title, the short story was not particularly about falling in love with one specific person, though it did feature this. The story was about how Kent fell in love with things around him, how we felt about his place in the navy, how he felt about his best friend’s wife, and how he was able to come to terms with his absence from college. He would fill that hole in his heart by writing, trying to be an “intellectual” and thinking of himself as Ayn Rand (author of Anthem and Atlas Shrugged). He found his inner harmony and found he was more than just a sailor, more than just a man on the USS Eisenhower, he was an individual, Kent Shaw, without any effort.
    The author uses narrative strategies in his short story to get to his theme of realization and the journey he makes. He uses description prominently, like what type of day it was, how he felt. He really helps people get into his mindset and what he thought directly, which was his confusion of the situation he was in. His description of his own thoughts and feelings helped the reader to make a connection and empathize with the speaker, creating an effectively descriptive story. There are some significant themes that stick out as well, love is being the most important. He connects it to almost all forms of love that we know, one between partners, loyalty for one’s country, and love for himself.

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    1. While looking through the responses to the narratives that we read last night, Meagan's jumped out at me. She chose "How to Fall in Love for Real" by Kent Shaw which is an interesting story about how the author finds who he really is through the little things he does in his life, and the people he loves. Meagan is trying to make prominent the fact that he was an individual, and he was more than just a sailor. Truly, it's a story of self awareness. What Meagan is getting at is that through his small realizations, he becomes a more well-rounded person with a better understanding of who he is. The author makes this prominent in the following: "I was in love with my best friend’s wife. I was in love with everything. The sales clerk’s name was Cricket. She was six months pregnant. And for two weeks at sea, I imagined how I could love the child she was carrying, even if he wasn't mine. I was in love with the Navy.". This quote shows all the minuscule details of the authors life and delivers them in a blunt, yet organized fashion. This way the reader gets a lot of information at once without being overwhelmed.

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  17. The nonfiction narrative, “Wide Open Spaces” by Kathryn Miller, is about her traumatic childhood shooting and seeing her shooters suicide crime scene for the first time. Miller tells the tragic tale of being shot multiple times by a complete stranger when she was only seven years old, nearly killing her. Everyday she must live with the scars this woman left her with for no reason. Not only did she have no cause for harming Miller, but she also shot five other kids from her elementary school, leaving one dead. The shooter was also guilty for planting a bomb in an elementary school to kill her two nephews, the bomb never went off, setting a house on fire with two children and their mother in the basement, and holding hostage and shooting a young man who was home from college. When Miller sees the crime scene images from her shooters suicide for the first time after twenty four years she pays attention to every minute detail. From the clothing of her shooter to the blank stare in her eyes.
    In the telling of her tragic story, Miller uses the narrative strategies of vivid and suggestive imagery and the sequencing of the plot. While talking about the crime scene photos, she pays close attention to the details of the pictures. She describes the setting of the scene providing the simile of “a twin bed neatly made with frilly cream bedding that looks like a wedding cake” in order to give the reader a stronger image of what it looked like. Miller then goes on to describe how the shooter is positioned and the clothing she is wearing. Finally, Miller explains in great detail the gore of the scene, from the blood pooled behind her head to her finger stuck in the trigger position. In explaining all of these details, Miller is providing the reader with a clear visual. She also appeals to other senses by including information such as, the room being too cold and the police woman’s “nervous chatter”. In providing all of this vivid imagery, the author is able to bring the reader into the setting and allows them to see what she sees. Miller also uses the narrative strategy of the sequencing of the plot. She begins in the present, seeing the pictures for the first time. She then goes on to explain her scars, and then how she got them. After this explanation she returns to the present. Miller uses this strategy to capture the attention of the reader and bring them to read more.

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    1. I definitely agree with Rachael in that Miller uses vivid imagery to draw in the reader. She truly paints the scene for you, not sugar-coating an image that for many would be too much to handle. She describes the room in detail, even comparing the frilly cream bedding to a wedding cake, and outlines the scene of the suicide in the same way. She produces a graphic image in your mind as if you were seeing the blood splattered on the woman's face in person. The way she organizes her story, beginning in the present, drifting back into the past, and then resurfacing in the present brings you through her flashback as though you were having a flashback of your own.

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  18. "Gambling" -
    By Garnett Kilberg Cohen

    A group of people stop at a casino for food and lodging (and maybe to play the slots a little bit) but they soon realize the place is worn down and pretty disgusting, with the smell of cigarette smoke everywhere and no decent food to be had. The kids waiting for their arents to be done gambling remind the narrator of when they were young in Ohio. Then, in the ladies room, there is a container in the wall filled with hypodermic needles for diabetes treatment. The narrator goes on to talk about a time they were in hanoi, cuba with a friend and they got into a car thinking it was a taxi, only to have the driver bring them to their destination, and his obvious drug-addict friend in the passenger seat demand them $200 that they didn't have, only to dump them blocks from their hotel to drag their bags across a dangerous and unfamiliar city.


    The theme of "Gambling" is an overlying feelnig of darkness and discomfort.made quite clear, not through the content itself, but in the way the description is used. At no point does Cohen say one good thing about the settings she describes, being very quick to point out unpleasant sights, sounds and smells to convey an uncomfortable or even dangerous atmosphere to the reader. Cohen seeks to display the more gross, backwater parts of human culture that she has visited, such as crooked cabs full of drug addict tolls, or casinos loaded with the elderly and cigarette smoke, and Cohen does that by undermining or failing to mention anything good about the story's settings, preferring to speak of harsh neon lights or beggars lying in gutters, therefore Cohen uses imagery to express a harsh atmosphere, and to put the reader in her shoes as an inquisitive outsider thrust into an environment that makes her uncomfortable.

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  19. In the narrative, "If We Had Been Allowed to Take Pictures" by Scott Russell Morris, he describes his visit to the Cathedral of the Holy Ascension and how he encounters an older woman. He describes what she wears, how she looks and also how she works. The woman works in the candlelight, collecting left over prayers off the candelabras, cupping them in her hands and continues without flinching.

    Morris describes the woman with great detail, and it completely enhances the story. They way he describes the woman with her "orange dress", "blue apron" and She wears a blue kerchief, the same thick material as the apron, tying back her hair, accentuating the creases in her copper face with its wide, beautiful expanse of Kazakh cheeks" creates such an expanse of imagery that you can fully visualize what the old woman looks like. Morris also refers to the dry and old wax on the candelabras "dry remains of prayers ", which makes the wax seem like such an important symbol to the meaning of the woman's work. The setting he chose the narrative to take place in automatically produces a calm and comforting feeling, like you're being hugged by his words. Behind the images, a single ray of sunlight penetrates a rose and aqua window above. It illuminates the icons, gives added glimmer to the gold-flecked craftsmanship, and creates a single blotch of light on the floor, but mostly the ray highlights the dimness of this place, its dark sacredness". This sentence holds such beauty that is enhanced by all of the adjectives and produces the calm setting that I felt when reading this narrative. I feel as though Morris made this a third person narrative because a person looking at this setting from the outside can better describe the beauty of it than someone who is actually participating in the beauty of the setting itself.

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    1. The theme that Morris seems to be describing is beauty. All of the narrative strategies he uses aim towards describing the beautiful setting with the beautiful woman and the beautiful way in which she works with her paint brush, like an artist.

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  20. “One Good Thing” By Luke St. John is about a girl who has an abusive dad. She tries her best to become invisible, and but doesn't know how well she is doing, in her efforts, because she can see herself. Her friend also has an abusive dad but worse so she comes over to hide with her. When the fighting stops they play, but that isn’t often. When the mother and daughter heard the father but his fist through some glass they left for texas. All this time the daughter just wanted to see her dad die. In less than a year they get a call from her brother that dad has put a bullet through his head. ” I fly home, move back into our house, as if nothing happened. “ she doesn't care about her father at all. She is even happy to hear that she isn't mentioned in the suicide note because that meant she was really invisible.

    The author doesn’t use names in this piece. He just uses “dad” and “i” this creates a person that could be anyone and everyone. She appeals to logos, ethos, and pathos. You feel bad for her and can rationalize her thinking. You empathize for and want better for her. You know that morally abuse is wrong. Her wanting her father to die causes a conflict, because you want the best for her and you believe that life is important. In the end you don’t really feel bad that the father commited suicide because she didn't care. You are on her side since the beginning and that helps you see her side of everything, even if it isn't the right side.

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    1. Daniel’s summary of “One Good Thing” by Luke St. John efficiently retells St. John’s tale of growing up with an abusive father. Throughout his childhood he tries to become invisible to escape from his aggressive dad until, finally, he and his mother flee for Texas. From there they receive a phone call from his older brother announcing the father had commit suicide. The author and his mother then return to their home “as if nothing happened” for, as Daniel explained, the author did not care about the father.

      I agree with Daniel’s observation that the author excludes names and replaces them with things like “I” and “dad” to make it so they can be “anyone and everyone”. But Daniel seemed to have missed the fact that a name is used, Nancy. Nancy was also suffering from an abusive father, just like the author. Why is Nancy named but no one else? Is it that her situation cannot apply to “anyone and everyone” like Daniel said? I believe that the author purposely did not name himself or his father in order to prevent bias on who is morally more correct, the abusive father or the child who feels no remorse for his father's suicide. But in the case of Nancy there is no bias in opinions for her sides of the story are only touched on. Also, with this application of “I” and “dad” etc. the author steps back from bias, meaning you may not be on the authors side from the beginning as Daniel observed.

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  21. In the personal narrative “Three Oranges” by Tami Mohamed Brown, the author tells a story of how she met a dingy old man across the street from a car dealership. The man asks her a sincere request- he asks if she has any spare twine or something of the sort. After considering his question, the author looks for a piece or ribbon or twine in her bag but finds nothing that resembles twine, so instead she offers him an orange. Instead of accepting the orange, the man that the author made out to be a disgusting, seemingly homeless man, rejects the fruit and asks why he would need an orange in place of twine. “Do I,” he asks, pausing, “look like some kind of bum, do you think? Do I look like some kind of riffraff troublemaker that needs an orange from you?” The author seems puzzled by such a response to a kind offer. As the man crosses the street, the author throws the orange to him and he states simply: “We’re all a step away from this,” he says, gesturing to himself, and walks into the dark parking lot, as if he had never been there at all, leaving me alone with the rush-hour traffic.”.The theme in this narrative suggests a deeper look into the kind gestures we make for people who are seemingly in need of any kind of help. Through the repeated use of two lines (“It’s getting dark.” and “Am i crazy to have stopped, crazy to be having this conversation?”), the author makes a point of getting the reader to look closer and ponder on these lines of text more closely than the rest. Also, the author uses very vivid imagery to give the reader the full affect of how she perceived this man that she encountered. This way the reader will feel more in tune with the author, ultimately having the theme of the narrative more easily revealed and understood.

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    1. Meghan’s summary and analysis are very enticing I read almost all of the comment and hers was the only one that made me want to read the story “Three Oranges” by Tami Mohamed Brown. I agree with her word choices in describing the man’s request, it is indeed sincere, and the story does bring up some of the stereotypes and judgment we make about those we think are below us, in need of oranges. I think the author did use vivid imagery in her narrative, but only when describing the man, which heightens his importance. One thing I think Meghan was getting act but didn’t quite state is the author’s use of structure and plot set up to make the meeting with the man the only thing the reader focuses on. Brown starts the story of saying she doesn’t remember leaving work, or the day, or walking to the bus; but she then goes on to describe the meeting with the man in extreme detail, word for word with vivid imagery. Setting the story up like this throws it up to a higher level, and makes you focus on the themes, and underlying messages rather than just a meeting with a funny man.

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  22. The nonfiction piece “Thank you” is about a woman talking to her ex-boyfriend’s daughter, although they are not having a conversation. In this piece, the narrator is talking toward the girl, in a fashion similar to in a letter. It is written in the first person, and is about the memories Sejal Shah had with her ex-boyfriend, in terms of this little girl. The narrator explains how important his daughter was to her boyfriend, and even though she never got to meet her personally, the little girl was ever-present in their minds and conversations together. Shah also states that one of the few gifts that she gave her boyfriend’s daughter was a handmade book; which the little girl loved very much. She told her father, “I love this book so much, I’m not going to say thank you”. The narrator reveals that one of the reasons she broke up with the little girl’s father was because she was unable to meet her. However, the narrator also explained how her father never replied; perhaps because he loved her too much to thank, which seems to be a theme throughout this piece.
    In order to convey this theme, the Shah uses vivid imagery, characterization, and by repetition. Shah uses vivid imagery especially when describing her ex-boyfriend’s daughter, such as when she stated, “Your father showed me pictures of you in pale pink leotard and translucent white skirt, a series capturing your curly hair and sparkly eyes, and assured me you’d love me”. Shah was able to recall the vivid details from that moment, which emphasizes the impact she had on the author, even without personally knowing her. Another technique the author uses to develop the theme that when you love someone, you do not have to thank them is by characterization. The narrator develops the character of her ex-boyfriend by revealing the vast love he has for his daughter, and by revealing that she, in fact, loved him. A final way Shah develops her theme is by repetition; she explains the fact that she never got to meet this man’s daughter several times. The narrator works on developing the fact that she truly wanted to be a part of that family, she loved her boyfriend and wanted to love his daughter.

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    1. I never even thought about the theme of "not thanking someone because you love them so much." When I read this story all I could focus on was the imagery making the memory tangible. What stuck out to me was the author's use of adjectives to describe the girl as if she actually knew her. All I could focus on was the relationship between the author and the girl when really, this relationship virtually didn't exist- this memoir is about the father. I think Mel's ability to recognize that this memoir was not about the father's love for the daughter but the love of the author towards the father is great. I only focused on the acute details, not the overriding theme of complicated and sacrificial love.

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    2. Mentioning not having to be thankful is an interesting way to look at the writing. I imagined her wanting to be a part of something bigger, which is why her not meeting his child meant so much. The thank you just stuck out to me because of how it was the child who had never met the woman, who didn't say it. Who liked it too much to thank a stranger for it. It came off odd to me, so I left it that way. It's nice to see the way that every theme progresses in its own way through this piece, as there seems to be several ideas going on at once.

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  23. There oranges summary

    The narrator step off her bus and sees a homeless many carrying a garbage bag. He asks get for something twine or twine-like. She then searches her bag, and finds that she has doesn't have any, so she offers him an orange. He takes an offense to this, and asks her if he looks like a bum. She replies no, and done tells her he is blind, and asks her how he looks like. The narrator tells him that he has kind eyes. While he walks away he motions her to toss him an orange, then says he could juggle.if he had there oranges, and that "we're all one step away from this".

    The narrator used suggestive narrative to describe the many. This allows the reader to make the judgment of the man. The oranges symbolizes the opportunities lost to the poor. The theme is that life can take a downturn for anyone. We are all "one step away " from losing things we hold dear, if we are not careful.

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    1. (In Response to Gloria's Post)
      The writer uses a lot of narrative techniques. First, she speaks in first person, making it easy to relate as a reader. Also, the plot is arranged chronologically, and the story is mostly filled with dialogue. There is a point where the writer is thinking about what she is doing, and this also helps the reader to make that connection. The orange is a significant object, because when it first symbolized someone in need, it then represented the kindness in the man. As did his eyes, their blue color was probably a result of his visual impairment, but the light blue actually represented his purity in the story, and how gentle his soul was. The character of the older man starts off as a sort of threat, when it is only the woman (the writer) and the man. In this situation a lot of people might keep their distance from the man, but she ends up having a conversation with the man, and learning that he is a kind person. This narrative teaches you some moral lessons, as Gloria pointed out. When the man said “we’re all one step away”, Gloria had a good idea about how precarious life can be, and how careful we should be so we don’t lose it all. It reminds me a lot of the inhabitants of Key West, where there is a very large homeless population. I know a homeless person pretty well down there; Wesley did not finish high school, and never got a job either, so he ended up being on the streets when he turned 18. It really is tragic, but this story tries to raise awareness as to how cautious you should be so you don’t end up in that situation. When Gloria wrote of the symbol of the oranges, I never thought of it as the opportunities lost by the poor, but that’s actually a very good idea, it was insightful to think of the oranges as the opportunities, as I probably wouldn’t have reached that point on my own.
      “Three Oranges” written by Tami Mohamed Brown is a very deep story about a very straggly man. When the writer steps off the bus, she finds herself alone with what she believes is a homeless man. The man confronts her and asks her for twine, she reveals that she doesn’t have any twine to offer him, but she does have an orange. He then replies by asking her if he looks like a bum (henceforth why she would’ve offered him an orange in the first place). She tells him that he doesn’t look like a bum, and after finding out that he is visually impaired; she tells him that he has kind, clear eyes, which only hold good in them. She made this man’s day, and he accepted the orange and left her with the words, “We're all a step away from this”. These words left a lasting impression on the writer.

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  24. How to Fall in Love For Real by Kent Shaw

    This piece of nonfiction explores a young man’s obsession with love: searching for love, falling in love, finding love, receiving love… As a young man in the Navy he was in love with his country, his best friend’s wife, and even a pregnant sales clerk. He told the story of his journey for more love, encompassing want ads and night clubs. He also embarked on a voyage to become an intellectual, buying a fancy book and pen that he would use to write about anything and everything. He also began to read voraciously, absorbing the works Dickens and Hemingway. His love for the Navy was soon redirected to his love for knowledge, for every thing he did was to make up for the absence of a college classroom. He realized that his identity was more than that of a sailor, even if he blended in with the four thousand others on his ship.

    Shaw explored the theme of love by giving his story a timeline. This progression illustrated how the quest for love (not only in the romantic sense) unfolds throughout ones life, not in one single moment. Shaw used both a first person and a third person point of view to enhance his narrative. He would give us his point of view: a travelling young sailor on a journey to find love and establish his identity; and then the view of everyone else: just one of four-thousand sailors on his ship. These contrasting points of view emphasized Shaw’s desire for a distinctive identity. The author also used a seemingly naive voice to point out his growth in perspective: from that of a young man looking for love in clubs to a professor who had already found it.

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    1. I loved Cody's comment about the use of first and third person narrative in this piece. After reading "How to Fall in Love", this use of third person narrative at the end of the piece struck me as unusual. Up to this point, Shaw had been trying to convince us that he was something more than just a sailor, all through first person narrative. This goes along with what Cody was saying, that Shaw desires his own identity. I believe Shaw was also trying to convince himself he was unique. In the beginning of the piece, Shaw describes how he was given an identity he was comfortable with, but that he wasn't sure this identity suited him. So he went searching for his own identity, hoping that he was different from the other sailors on the boat. The fact he has to search for his identity instead of just having one, might mean he has no unique identity at all. Finally, he seems to convice himself he's different by saying "I was a sailor in the U.S. Navy, and I was more than that." But then, shortly after, he outlines his doubts that he is any different from the other sailors by providing us the point of view of everyone else on the boat.

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  26. The laws of physics and good common sense is a short but deep piece by David J Lawrence. Lawrence’s piece talks about events that have affected officers in the air force. They tell these stories while he was in a tent that housed soldiers heading to an Afghanistan airfield. Lawrence’s story topped all of the other stories from any of the other officers. He told his story about his son flying a kite on a very windy day. The wind picked his son up with the kite and dropped him 30 feet in midair. He was severely harmed by this drop, but he recovered fully. One of the other officers asked Lawrence if his son still flies that kite, he responded with yes. After a bit of silence the officer said good, good for him. Lawrence in his piece uses a variety of narrative techniques. Lawrence ordered his piece in such a way he highlights on the seriousness of family. Lawrence’s story both topped the other officers’, but they also understood the seriousness of it. Lawrence uses imagery thought his narrative from when he first mentions the air force then the kite making it seem more as a plane rather than a kite. He uses multiple techniques to convey his points on family and war.

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  27. With and Without a care.
    The essay that I had read describes issues when it comes to medical aid. There were ten passages in the essay spread out to tell a story. The author used these passages to convey an almost hidden meaning to what her argument was. She wished to explain how the idea of making medical aid into a business is crude, and even affected the life of an older woman. When she passage was centered around the older woman, she understated what had been going on. The author focused in on the older woman, who had been bleeding from the head. Her fall onto the concrete had just been another plot point, rather than any important detail of the argument. The author followed points of this with understatement, speaking about her brother visiting, and how very interesting that would be to her. The essay goes on to also explain her viewpoints on the hospital system, and how much it has become a business. The author almost sarcastically references the payment form that she apparently overheard in a waiting room, and then goes back on to explain the situation with the bleeding older woman again. The older woman seems to want nothing from the paramedics that had arrived to attempt to revive her.

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  28. “Thank You” by Sejal Shah

    Summary: In Thank You by Sejal Shah, the author reminisces on a relationship she had with a father, and a daughter she never even got to meet. She speaks constantly of how the relationship with the daughter’s father only ever existed between the little girls bed time and the father’s; she only existed to him during the in between.

    Analysis: In the story Shah focuses on objects that symbolize the girl’s existence; a pale pink leotard, a translucent white skirt, a small bound book, a car seat, tiny, shockingly pink shoes, and a window covered in a “legion” of stickers. Through her use of vivid imagery the melancholy of not meeting the daughter who was always present but never there becomes tangible.

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    1. I completely agree with Ella in that the use of Shah's vivid imagery allows for the relationship between the author and her ex-boyfriends daughter becomes tangible, but I also think that the author intended for it to be even more complex than that. In addition to making the relationship seem palpable and affectionate, I feel that the author wants us to feel especially connected to this girl, not just believe the relationship between the two. The way Shah so eloquently describes the young girl and her the objects associated with her (in particular, the description of "the star-patterned pajamas and sturdy purple underwear; your tiered dresses and miniature leggings? So many ruffles, so many kinds of pink, so many things.") the author practically demands some form of connection between the reader and the girl.

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  29. In Sejal Shaw’s “Thank you” a woman addresses her ex-boyfriend’s daughter she never got the chance to meet. She tells the girl how although they never met the girl played a constant role in her father’s life even when she wasn’t around. There was the car seat with stickers adorning it, each sticker placed carefully by the young girl. There were unfolded pajamas, and pictures of her around the house. It was obvious that this girl was his everything. The woman expressed that she longed to meet the girl that was the most important thing in his life, but she never got the chance to.
    The woman speaks in first person, her audience being the little girl she longed to meet. Her diction isn’t too complex but catered to an audience of lower understanding. She also pays attention to acute detail. She acknowledges the daughters existence through her clothes, her car seat, and the pictures around the house. The fact that she is so concerned by the detail of the young girl’s tutu reflects upon the narrator’s desire to know her, and the impact the girl has made on her, without even knowing it. She uses vivid imagery of the girl’s belongings to create an image of the girl in her own mind having never met her.

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  30. Three Oranges by Tami Mohamed Brown

    Summary:
    In the short narrative, Three Oranges, the author writes about an encounter between herself and a stranger, whom she encounters at a freeway bus shelter. At first, the man is hostile towards her advancing of offering him an orange, thinking that she was insulting him with her "handouts". After explaining to the man that she thought that he could use it because he looked like he had a bad day, the man softens, then begins to questions the woman what she sees when looking at him. She tells him she sees kindness, and he leaves on that note, satisfied with her answer. Just before leaving her sight, he yells to the woman, "We're all a step away from this", leaving her to ponder what exactly, they were only a step away from.

    Analysis:
    Brown utilizes vivid imagery of the setting and characters, as well as first person perspective to create her entertaining and uplifting narrative, Three Oranges. What I find most interesting about her story is the way she describes the man, not giving an insightful physical appearance, but rather characterizing the man by his actions and dialogue. By the analyzing the description alone, the reader would be inclined to picture a homeless man, especially considering the particular description of the man dressed in "a stained red vest over a dingy long-sleeved shirt." Even the description of the scenery that Brown describes contributes to the characterization of the man, as we often connect the "inner-city" places to the homeless. But getting back to my original point, when we forget the physical description and only analyze how Brown describes their interactions, we learn much more about the personality and true identity of the stranger. The way she describes the man's eyes being "great eyes—clear eyes—anyone could tell there’s nothing terrible there", is the authors way of conveying the deceiving look of the man. She contradicts his entire physical appearance with that one sentence, and ultimately dismisses the original thought that this man may be a threat. We see her begin to question this when near the beginning, the author asks herself: "Am I crazy to have stopped, crazy to be having this conversation?" However when she repeats herself towards the end, I believe the meaning of the question has changed, and she is asking herself why she is even here, maybe even wondering if it was fate to meet this stranger, or considering the possibility that she really is crazy to be taking to a man who looks so different than what he appears, that it could not possibly be real. On an unrelated note, the personal effect given by first person perspective creates a much more personal and connected feeling between the reader and the stranger. Lastly, the question put at the end of the piece was so perfectly placed, as it leaves the reader with a question hanging over their head. Despite the questionable meaning of the question, it doesn't leave the reader with an ominous, depressed feeling like you think it would. Rather, because of the comfortable relations between the two characters, the reader is left with an uplifting feeling, and a new question to consider.

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